Shelagh Melville
November 13, 2013 6:03 pm | by admin | Posted in Tributes
Shelagh Rosemary Melville (nee Collins); 2/9/1929 – 18/10/2013
Tribute given at Shelagh’s funeral service held at St Paul’s Bedford on 12 November 2013 by Stephen Stanford.
It is with some considerable sadness, yet also a great privilege, to be invited to speak here today, to remember, celebrate, and pay tribute to, the life and work of our dear friend Shelagh. Shelagh was of course a passionate (some would say fanatical) church bell ringer and she spent much of her life ringing the bells, both throughout this country and overseas. It is therefore inevitable that much of what I shall say today relates to Shelagh’s love of the Church and its bells.
The first time that I met Shelagh was in late 1968 or early 1969 when she and Malcolm attended a Friday evening bell ringing practice at Elstow, where I was learning to ring. I remember her being a somewhat stern but cheerful and kindly lady who was very encouraging to me and the other (at times riotous) young learners who attended the practices there. And this is how she remained throughout the forty or more years that I knew her, even to the very end.
Shelagh was born on 2 August 1929 in Kew near Richmond Surrey. Her parents were Walter and Vida Collins who came from Portsmouth, having married there in 1920. Shelagh was one of five children. Her eldest brother Aubrey sadly died during WW2. He was followed by a sister Monica (also a ringer) who subsequently immigrated to Australia in 1959 and married John Martin. Another sister, Shelagh Veronica, sadly died in infancy, and I expect Shelagh was named after her. Shelagh’s younger brother Michael John followed in 1933. He served in the British Merchant Navy and subsequently, like Monica, lived and worked in Australia. Shelagh was the last surviving sibling, her sister Monica having passed away in 2004.
The family moved to Burpham near Guildford when Shelagh was a child. She attended the Grammar School (Guildford High) where she excelled, and went on to gain a BSc in Mathematics from London University followed by a Post Graduate Education Certificate at Leeds. Shelagh was clever; to those who she taught or rang with, this was evident. Later in life she was a member of MENSA and also a keen follower, and then formidable contestant, in the Channel 4 quiz show, Countdown. A number of us became avid afternoon television addicts for a while as we eagerly tracked her progress. Of course she knew all the answers, and the result, but she would never let on. She also found fame on 20 to 1, another Channel 4 quiz show, and was very good at Crosswords. Shelagh’s family worshipped at St Nicholas Church Guildford, a church with an Anglo Catholic tradition, and this no doubt forged the basis for her deep Christian faith and love of the church. It was here that along with her sister Monica she learned to ring, taught by Charlie Hazelden. Although Shelagh’s parents were not ringers, her family had ringing connections. Shelagh’ great uncle, Sedley Collins, was born and lived in Debenham, Suffolk, and rang with the renowned local band. He rang his first recorded peal there in 1898, aged 15, and his last was at Fulham on 14 October 1914 before enlisting into the Machine gun Corp and serving on the front in the first war. He married Ellen Martha Poulson at Wandsworth in Feburay 1917 and was later, in November of that year, discharged with gun shot wound. Sadly he succumbed to his war experiences, and died in an asylum at Dartford in January 1919 aged 35. He is remembered on the Debenham war memorial, and his cottage still stands in the village. Shelagh spent some time researching his history and ringing records.
Sedley’s second cousins, Edgar and David Collins, were also ringers, from Worlingworth, Suffolk. They both rang in a 16,000 of Oxford Treble Bob at Debenham, taking 10 hours and 32 minutes, in 1892. Following teacher training, Shelagh’s first employment was with the Civil Service, at the Telephone Manager’s Office in Hanley, North Staffordshire. She lived and rang at Wolstanton, also regularly attending practices at Newcastle Under Lyme and Stoke on Trent. At Wolstanton Shelagh first met and rang with Julie and Ewart Edge, who were founding members of the Universities Association, and this presumably resulted in her introduction to Malcolm, who was also a founding UA member. It was while she was living in North Staffordshire that Shelagh rang her first peal, Plain Bob Minor at Keele for the Coronation, on 2nd June 1953. (Coincidentally, Shelagh’s sister Monica also rang her first peal on the same day; Grandsire Triples at Egham, Surrey). Just six days later, Shelagh rang her first handbell peal at Hartshill Stoke on Trent, also Plain Bob Minor with Fred Wilshaw, and Fred Grocott conducting. She rang seven further peals during that year, for the North Staffordshire Association, and also back at home, for the Guildford Diocesan Guild. From Staffordshire, in 1956 Shelagh moved to Kettering, taking a teaching post in Maths at Kettering Technical College. Here she lived in Argyl Street, caring for her mother, and she was soon active in ringing circles with the leading ringers from the area including Murray Coleman, Alan and Diana Frost, Arthur Gibbs and Geoffrey Watson to name a few of them. Shelagh served as the Kettering Branch Secretary for three years and was elected to the Central Council to represent the Peterborough Diocesan Guild from 1963 to 1966. In 1964 she was elected Master of the PDG and I understand she was the first lady to hold such a post in a Diocesan Guild.
It was during her time at Kettering that Shelagh rang her first peal for the Bedfordshire Association and of London Major; at Felmersham on 12 September 1959, conducted by Bryan Pattison. She also conducted her first peal during this period, Plain Bob Minor at Corby on 21 April 1961. Many ringers will remember with some affection, the assertive and very deliberate voice she often used when conducting. (No chance of misunderstanding her calls).
Shelagh’s next move was in 1965 to Kings Lynn where she took a teaching post at Kings Lynn Technical College. Malcolm was also teaching in Kings Lynn at this time, and it may have been a reason for her moving there. Here Shelagh lived at Gaywood, again caring for her mother who was increasingly frail, and she rang and worshipped at St Margaret Kings Lynn. She achieved thirteen peals during her first year, most of them with Norman Harding and Malcolm and held various posts in the Norwich Diocesan Association, actively involved with the usual activities of district meetings, outings, and of course teaching learners. Malcolm’s move to Bedford from Nottinghamshire pre-dated Shelagh’s by about a year, and they were married here in this church on 9th August 1969, spending part of their honeymoon on a UA tour in York! They made their home at 45 Beverley Crescent where they lived for their entire married lives, and where Shelagh continued to live until she was taken into hospital just a couple of months before her death.
On moving to Bedford Shelagh secured a teaching post in Maths and Physics, at what was then Mander College, just across the river from here, while Malcolm taught at Rushmoor School. Their arrival in Bedford occurred at a time when the Sunday Service ringing here at St Paul’s was at its peak, and some of the best in the country. A ringer of Shelagh’s experience and undoubted abilities was soon welcomed into the band, and it was at this time that she did most of her more advanced ringing, as the band progressed to ringing various new and more challenging Surprise Royal methods under Stephen Ivin’s leadership. Malcolm and Shelagh contributed financially when the bells were augmented to twelve in 1978, and Shelagh rang in many of the early twelve bell peals including the first; Grandsire Cinques on 12 March 1978, followed by Stedman Cinques on 10 April, Cambridge Maximus on 15 May, and Bristol Maximus on 28 December. Shelagh was however, first and foremost a Sunday Service ringer, and she remained very loyal to the band and ringing here through times good and not so good until sadly, failing health made climbing the stairs too difficult. Although she always enjoyed the challenge of ringing on twelve, I think her preference was more for the high standard of ringing that had been achieved on ten.
As many of us will know, Shelagh’s also had a great passion for ringing at new and different towers, and it was in this context that I have my earliest and perhaps fondest memories of her. She had an impressive record – even at that time in the early 70s I believe she had rung at 4000 or more different churches – although she never quite managed to catch up with Malcolm! During the half-term holidays it became customary for Malcolm and Shelagh to arrange a ringing outing into neighbouring counties when we would ring at between 10 and 15 towers. Shelagh’s objective when organising was to find towers where she had not rung, but where Malcolm had. Of course Malcolm would do likewise when he was organising! Malcolm and Alan Collins (who had taught a young band from scratch at Harrold) usually transported the North Bedfordshire (mainly Harrold and Stevington) ringers, and Shelagh would venture to the south side of town, to collect the Elstow contingent. I have many fond memories of piling into Shelagh’s blue-grey Morris Minor traveller along with my brother David, Robert Wood and others, one or two of us in the dog kennel at the back along with the day’s provisions. We were sometimes joined at the first tower by Dick and Anne Speed and their family – all ringers of considerable ability and inspiration.
With such characters together in the tower, ample encouragement and opportunity was provided to practice new and more challenging methods, try more difficult and heavier bells, and learn basic conducting. And of course, along with the serious business of ringing, there was plenty of scope for fun and hilarity!
On one such outing, Shelagh discovered that a rare tower was going to be open for a short time in the near vicinity of Malcolm’s tour. I believe it may have been Marston St Lawrence, and they had not been rung in living memory. Shelagh estimated that by leaving one tower early, skipping the scheduled lunch break and eating in the car on route, then arriving late at the afternoon tower, it would just about be possible to ring there. We were sworn to secrecy, but of course we were up for it. Needless to say, Shelagh’s arrangements were impeccable, and we duly entered a rare tower in all of our books. Shelagh was delighted – it was a real coup – and as far as I know, Malcolm never found out!
This was one of several examples of the often amusing competition between them. It was more akin to sibling rivalry than any kind of marital disharmony. For a time they each had delivered their own copy of The Ringing World, neatly bound and housed in book cases at opposite ends of the room. Rumour has it that Shelagh was not permitted to read Malcolm’s copy as this had to be kept in pristine condition for binding, without folds or coffee cup rings!
Shelagh was an excellent teacher and even as a youngster I always found conversation with her to be challenging and engaging. Travelling with her to meetings and outings was invariably an enjoyable experience as she always had something interesting to discuss; she knew very well how to encourage and motivate young people. I recall that she was particularly useful when it came to tricky maths and physics homework. Rather than struggle at home, it was far easier to attend the Bedford practice for a consultation with Shelagh, and in addition you had some good ringing! She also had some quirky tastes in Music. It was Shelagh who introduced us to the Master Singers and their version of The Highway Code and The Weather Forecast, beautifully sung to traditional psalm chants. This was typical of her sense of humour.
One Christmas, Shelagh presented my brother David with a hand written exercise book containing a personal encouragement to learn Stedman Triples inscribed into the front cover. It came with a set of coloured pens with which she had written out the structure of the method with a detailed explanation, over several of the pages. It was a real work of art – a labour of love – that must have taken her ages to produce. Of course we both learnt much from it, and I know that David still keeps it amongst his ringing possessions. For Shelagh, nothing was too much effort to help and encourage a young ringer’s progress, and she knew well how to do it. In later years she presented the Melville Cup to the Bedfordshire Association, in memory of Malcolm, thereby establishing an annual inter district ringing competition for young ringers. This, as well as the young ringers that are encouraged by it, will remain a very fitting tribute to their memories for many years to come.
Robert Wood is possibly the only Bedfordshire ringer to have been taught by Shelagh, at Mander College. He remembers that she was very effective and invariably helpful. Owen Claxton, a former student of Shelagh’s at Kings Lynn Technical College and one time Ringing Master at St Mary le Tower Ipswich recalls her very personable nature, but adds, “She had a way with words, and could be volatile and withering to miscreants”. She certainly did not tolerate any messing about or suffer fools gladly. So it was too with ringing, and also on occasions, with Malcolm!
Shelagh was however a kind and generous person. Over many years, from her time in Kettering, she cared for her elderly mother, who towards the end of her life was physically impaired and required considerable assistance. She quite often accompanied Shelagh to ringing meetings and outings, and I can clearly remember her sitting in the front seat of Shelagh’s Morris Traveller. For someone who had never been a ringer, she had an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of ringers and ringing, and was an avid reader of The Ringing World (presumably Shelagh’s copy)!
Notwithstanding their friendly rivalry, Shelagh was of course devoted to Malcolm and she also cared dutifully and lovingly for him during his final and more difficult years, when his health began to deteriorate and he was sadly no longer able to join her in the tower.
Shelagh was a regular contributor to Bell Repair Funds and various other charities. When shopping vouchers first became popular and replaced Green Shield Stamps, Shelagh would donate the same amount as she saved from using her vouchers to the bell repair fund, and she encouraged a number of others to do likewise.
I too remember Shelagh’s kind nature. She would always be pleased to meet you and engage in conversation, and she would invariably greet you with that almost mischievous smile – we all know it – as if to say, what have you been up to; and of course she was genuinely interested to know. After moving from Bedford I would send her my Christmas circular with information about the year’s activities along with a Christmas card. It was nothing much, and seldom with more than a couple of lines addressed to her personally. But she was always so pleased to receive it, and she never failed to thank me for it.
Shelagh’s kindness, generosity, and her passion for ringing were unquestionably rooted in her Christian faith. She regularly attended the services here at St Paul’s for many years, and following retirement, engaged in welcoming visitors, and various other activities. In more recent years she also found friendship at St Mary’s Goldington where she attended the Wednesday morning communion services.
This tribute to Shelagh would not be complete without a few ringing statistics. She rang a total of 499 peals, just missing her 500th, her last being Cambridge Surprise Minor at Arlesey on 17 November 2001. 195 of her peals were rung for the Bedfordshire Association (far more than for any other society) and 127 of them were here at St Pauls Bedford (her leading tower by some margin). She conducted 19 of her peals in a range of methods including peals of Cambridge and Yorkshire Royal. These were rung during the early eighties when Shelagh was a keen participant in a Bedfordshire all ladies band who rung several peals together.
There was however one peal that almost eluded her. For many years she had not rung a peal of Stedman Triples, and so she issued a challenge to aspiring conductors offering a generous donation to the BRF on behalf of anyone who managed to achieve this for her. Martyn Marriott was the first to succeed, calling Shelagh’s first peal of Stedman Triples at Henlow on 31 July 1981, also his first as conductor, and she duly paid up! Shelagh was a proud member of the Society of Royal Cumberland Youths with 60 years membership. Elected on 17th Jan 1953 she rang 8 peals for The Society, all except one of them at Bedfordshire towers.
Before concluding I would like to thank all those who have contributed to Shelagh’s tribute and provided me with much valuable information about her life and history. I would particularly like to thank Rodney Melville, Shealgh’s family, and Chris Pickford; also my brother David, George Pipe and Owen Claxton, Geoff and Margaret Burton, Ray and Wendy Daw, and others who have provided brief snippets and anecdotes.
Our last meeting was in Bedford hospital, one Sunday evening, when Shelagh was clearly very weak. I had assisted her in drinking what seemed like several pints of lemon squash, and as we talked she told me, “I have seen the Doctor and it’s not good news I suppose. I cannot have any more antibiotics and they’ve removed all of the tubes. A broad smile then came across her face – I think we all know it well – as she said in her typically pragmatic and unassuming way “They didn’t really tell me anything, but I think I can read between the lines and work it out, so I suppose that’ll be it” She was at peace, and to the very end her usual cheerful self. She was indeed a wonderful lady. We thank God for giving her to us and the time that she spent amongst us. May she rest in peace.
Stephen Stanford